A weird warped wizard story!
by Ciggy
Summary: Harry gets suspended! Snape gets a girlfriend! Poppy and Minerva have a CATfight! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THIS STORY OF HUMOR AND HILARITY!
1. Default Chapter

A/N- This is the story formerly known as WEIRD HAPPENINGS AT HOGWARTS but I finally got off my butt and divided it into chapters, and fixed up the spelling and grammar. I also improved the fight scene in chapter 10 ! Love it? Hate it? Tell me what you think- please review!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
A new year had dawned and there was something in the air at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It wasn't the competitive spirit between the four Hogwarts houses Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, in preparation for the Quidditch cup. Nor was it the aroma of fine foods wafting from the kitchens, in preparation for the traditional start of year feast. However, there was something in the air at Hogwarts, that was for certain, and the year that lay ahead was certainly going to be one full of magical surprises.  
  
The morning sun was shining brightly outside on the huge grounds of Hogwarts but there was little sunshine to be seen in the dimly lit office of Professor McGonagall. Professor Minerva McGonagall was the deputy Headmistress at Hogwarts. She was also the head of Gryffindor house and the teacher of transfiguration. Professor McGonagall sat at her desk, quill in hand signing forms. She had a tower of parchment piled on her desk to sign. It seemed the pile of forms was growing, but they all needed to be signed by her, with no magic involved. Her square shaped glasses slid down her nose as single tear trickled down her cheek. It splattered onto the parchment and caused the ink to run. "Oh blast"! She muttered, quickly dabbing the ink.  
  
Professor McGonagall sighed heavily and cleared away the forms to one side of her desk. She replaced her quill in the pot of ink and quickly wiped her eyes. Professor McGonagall stood up and tucked her chair in under the desk. She took a deep breath and decided to join the rest of the staff in the staffroom. In a few hours the newest students of Hogwarts would arrive after their journey across the lake and would be waiting for her to take them to the great hall for their sorting ceremony. "That bloody sorting hat!" Minerva muttered to herself. It was not widely known that she and the sorting hat had.shall we say "creative differences". Nevertheless she hated it with passion. "At least I only have to encounter it once a year" she thought to herself. Although it seemed her strong dislike for the hat seemed to grow each year. Minerva extinguished her oil lamp which sat on her desk, leaving her office in complete darkness. She walked out and with a flick of her wand her office was securely locked.  
  
Professor McGonagall unrolled the parchment which contained all the names of the first year students who were about to be sorted. "Aleckseia Byrne" she called, in a stern tone. A young witch with glossy black hair and luminous yellow eyes approached the stool. She looked very nervous and stayed a great distance away from the Professor as though she was going to bite her. Professor McGonagall was in a very bad mood because of the devilish sorting hat but her face softened when she saw how scared Aleckseia looked. She gave Aleckseia a gentle smile, and patted the stool beckoning her towards it. Aleckseia sat down on the stool. Professor McGonagall placed the dirty brown sorting hat on the head of the witch. "Whatever should I do with you?" the hat sneered. "I'll put you in. Slytherin!" it exclaimed.  
  
"Here we go again", thought Professor McGonagall. She cleared her throat and read out the next student's name. "Felix Buttersworth". A tall, lanky boy with long blonde hair that was spiked up approached the stool. He sat down and Professor McGonagall placed the hat on his head. It rested on the top of his spiky hair and would not fit over it. This was quite a sight indeed and many students smothered their giggles. "What have we here?" the sorting hat taunted. "Are you the son of a porcupine or a pineapple?" Felix blushed deeply. "I think I'll chuck you in Hufflepuff!" Felix was fighting back tears. Professor McGonagall gripped the hat tightly and yanked it off the boy's head. Her heart went out to Felix and it took almost all of her self control to stop herself setting the sorting hat on fire, right there and then and watching it burn.  
  
"Just what did you think you were doing out there? Are you trying to make these new students more nervous than they already are?" Professor McGonagall bellowed. "Why I ought to finish you off!" She gripped the hat firmly and fumbled with her robes trying to find her wand which was hidden deep inside her pocket. Her fingers gripped the wand and she pulled it out and pointed it directly at the hat's wicked sneering face. She raised her wand and was ready to strike. Then all of a sudden a strong hand gripped her shoulder. She turned around and was faced with Albus Dumbledore the headmaster of Hogwarts. "Professor McGonagall! Do calm down at once!" he said with urgency. "But Albus!" she exclaimed. "Did you see what happened out there in the sorting ceremony?  
  
Each year this hat seems to cause more grief and I cannot begin to imagine how much this is upsetting our students. He nodded. "Minerva, I do understand." The headmaster said. "Now would you kindly return to the hall and I shall deal with the sorting hat." Dumbledore said sternly. "As you wish." Said Professor McGonagall coolly, handing him the tatty old hat. She turned on her heel and stormed back to the great hall, her green robes brushing the floor behind her.  
  
The great hall was packed full with the newly sorted first years and the teachers plus the rest of the students dining in true Hogwarts style. The great hall was lavishly decorated and the ceiling was once again bewitched to look like the night sky. There were huge platters all along the tables piled high with the most delicious foods imaginable. In addition, there was brass goblets filled with the finest of juices scattered along the tables. Aleckseia Byrne sat at the Slytherin table looking quite apprehensive. She had barely touched her food and her eyes were darting from person to person. She looked very anxious indeed. All the other first years were beginning to socialise but she sat there quietly without speaking a word.  
  
All of a sudden her face was splashed with pumpkin juice. The girl sitting opposite her had knocked her goblet over and the juice had splashed everywhere. Aleckseia gave a small shriek and looked as though she was about to burst into hysterics. "Good God, I'm terribly sorry!" apologised the girl who had spilt the juice. Aleckseia noticed straight away how wild and curly her chestnut coloured hair was. It spiralled outwards from her head and contrasted greatly with her milky white skin and deep blue eyes. "I'm awfully clumsy! Oh, let me help you!" she said reaching over and wiping Aleckseia's face with her lace handkerchief. "I'm really quite alright" began Aleckseia but was interrupted when a bowl of peas was knocked over by the girl who had been leaning over the table to wipe her face. "Oh blast, I've really done it now!" said the girl in between giggles. "Good one Neecholi!" called a boy who was sitting two places down from Aleckseia.  
  
Peas were scattered everywhere and Aleckseia's face was still dripping with pumpkin juice. "Look you lot, outta the way I can fix it" said a snooty voice. The voice belonged to a fifth year, Draco Malfoy who was sitting down the far end of the Slytherin table. Out of his pocket he produced a fine silver wand. He tapped it twice then called out "Reparo". The mess vanished, the bowl returned to it's original position and Aleckseia's face was clean again like nothing had ever happened. Draco smirked at the first years and replaced his wand. "Simple" he said in a haughty tone. "Brilliant!" said Neecholi in awe. Draco smiled tightly, and strode back to his seat. Neecholi turned to face Aleckseia. "Well now that catastrophe is over I'd like to introduce myself." Neecholi smiled. "I'm Neecholi Leech" she said confidently and stuck her hand out to Aleckseia, knocking over a bowl of tomato soup. The soup spilled all over the table and onto her lap. The ladle crashed onto the floor. Neecholi pulled her hand back. "Oops" she said shamefacedly. "Well I guess I better call Draco over again" Aleckseia said with a smile.  
  
Madame Hooch paced back and forth between her class of first year Slytherins and Ravenclaws. Everyone in the class stood still, with their broomsticks beside them and their backs up straight and tall. Nobody dared to move. Aleckseia was standing next to her new friend Neecholi. Although she was the only friend she had at Hogwarts so far Aleckseia looked like she didn't want to be around her. In fact the whole class seemed uncomfortable around Neecholi because it was their first flying lesson and if she was capable of causing such destruction at a simple sit down dinner like last night who knew what damage she would cause on a broomstick. "Alright" said Madame Hooch in a firm tone. "Welcome to Hogwarts. Today I will be teaching you how to fly on your brooms and I will be keeping an eye out for the talented ones in this bunch.  
  
As you know, there are four Quidditch teams at Hogwarts and this year we will be running things a little different. We will be having four reserve teams. This means you students have a chance of making those teams, and possibly even joining the house teams if you are asked to." Neecholi's eyes lit up. "Quidditch!" she gasped. "I love Quidditch!" Aleckseia looked horrified. "It's very dangerous isn't it?" she asked cautiously. "I mean, many have had terrible accidents! I heard even Harry Potter was almost killed once! He who defeated you-know-who!" Neecholi's face darkened. Aleckseia looked worried. "Uh, did I say something wrong..." she trailed off. Neecholi looked infuriated but her face instantly changed when she met Aleckseia's eyes. "Of course not!" she replied cheerily. "Come on, let's prove ourselves to Hooch, I'm dying to join that Quidditch team!" Neecholi said with enthusiasm. Aleckseia gave her a weak smile. Making the Quidditch team was not at the top of her list for things to accomplish at Hogwarts. In fact it was not on her agenda at all.  
  
The students were waiting in line for their turn to show their broom skills to Madame Hooch. "Neecholi seems really keen on making the Quidditch team" whispered Aleckseia to a fellow Slytherin named Jissikah who happened to share her dormitory. "In that case we better warn Madame Pomfrey in advance!" said Jissikah spitefully. "Neecholi already ruined the feast last night, who knows what kind of damage she could inflict on herself let alone the field and the other players in a game of Quidditch!" Jissikah cackled. Aleckseia forced a laugh. She agreed that Neecholi was not the most co- ordinated witch on the planet but at the same time she wondered why Jissikah was being so nasty. At that very moment a girl went zooming past on her broom. She braked and came to a standstill immediately in mid air. Then she did several quick twirls and spun around upside down in a full loop followed by a wronski feint before landing smoothly on the grass right in front of Madame Hooch. Madame Hooch burst into applause. "Outstanding!" she cried, tears welling in her eyes. She ran over to hug the rider. "What a talent!" She gushed, pulling away from the rider but still gripping her shoulders tightly. "Absolutely sensational! Never have I seen a first year with such great skill! With the ability to cut corners so smoothly and ride with such ease!" Madame Hooch was bursting with pride "I must inform the Slytherin team right away! She said. "Forget the reserves; you belong up with the best of them!" Madame Hooch let go of the girl and stepped backwards, beaming with pride. "Who the hell was that?" Aleckseia wondered. Madame Hooch stepped out of the way and everyone could clearly see the talented rider was none the less that Neecholi Leech, whose modest face was turning a deep shade of crimson.  
  
Harry Potter the fifth year was sitting in the library hunched over his notebook trying to finish his potions assignment. He was scribbling down notes into his book at a speedy pace. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. All of a sudden he was interrupted when his best friend Ron Weasley came over with a large box of Bertie Botts every flavour beans. "Thought you might need some fuel Harry" he said smiling. Harry looked extremely grateful. "Thanks Ron" said Harry, ripping the box of beans open. He took a handful and shovelled them into his mouth. He chewed them thoughtfully. "Nothing beats the taste of salmon, raspberry and beetle dung" said Harry contentedly. Ron burst out laughing. "That's bloody disgusting Harry! I wonder if we will ever get sick of Bertie Botts jellybeans" Ron mused. "Well if there's one thing I'm sick of its Potions! Harry muttered. "Does Snape actually find pleasure in weighing us down with useless homework?" he asked. Ron shrugged. "I haven't even started my assignment! Lighten up Harry; we have two weeks to do it." Ron said casually. "Harry packed up his things. "You're right Ron, I think I'll go easy on myself tonight, no study whatsoever." Ron smiled. "That's the spirit Harry!" he said slapping his friend on the back. "Now let's have some fun tonight! How bout we take your invisibility cloak and hide out in the girls' showers? Harry looked appalled. "Ron!" he said shocked. Then he quickly leaned over to Ron and whispered "let's do it!" Ron gave him a mischievous smile. "This'll be bloody brilliant!" 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Hermione Granger was sitting on the bathroom floor with her towel wrapped around her. Beside her sat two other Gryffindor fifth years who were both painting their toenails. Some girls were washing their hair in the showers, some were plucking their eyebrows at the mirrors and others were waxing their legs on the benches. Hermione unscrewed the lid of a bottle of pale pink nail polish. "That's such a lovely colour Hermione" one of the girls said. Hermione smiled. "I always liked pink" she replied. She began to paint her toenails with the polish.  
  
Outside Ron and Harry were waiting under Harry's invisibility cloak. "Alright, we have to wait here until a girl comes in then we need to follow her straight away." Harry whispered. "It would be a bit obvious if the door magically opened and we entered invisible" he explained. Ron was fidgeting with his hands. "Bloody 'ell Harry, this is going to be great!" he said with nervous excitement. "Just remember to keep covered and quiet at all times" ordered Harry. Ron nodded. They saw a Gryffindor girl walking towards the bathroom. She was very petite and had short caramel coloured hair which was tied back. Harry recognised her as a first year named Licce Melding. She was wrapped up in a towel and had her toiletries in a small bag with her. "This is it" said Harry. She opened the wooden door to the bathroom with one hand and walked in. Harry and Ron followed behind her almost tripping over each other. Licce walked over to a shower and shut the door. Many of the less shy girls left their shower doors opened while they washed themselves. Ron's jaw dropped and he began to salivate. Harry began to blush as he saw his close friend Hermione step into the shower. Suddenly he wished he has never agreed to Ron's plan.  
  
"Ron, it's Hermione!" hissed Harry." This is too weird; we have to get out of here" he said urgently. However Ron was in a fantasy world, he did not respond he only walked around in a daze with his eyes wide open taking in the sights. "Come on Ron this is stupid! We shouldn't have come here! Please, lets go" Harry begged. Ron did not respond. Hermione was talking to the girl in the shower cubicle next to her. "I can't believe you are friends with Harry Potter!" The girl exclaimed. "He's only the fittest lad in all our year!" she continued. "I've liked him ever since we were first years!" She giggled. Hermione shrugged. "He's nice I guess but I never thought of him that way" she said casually, while scrubbing the back of her neck. "Are you mad!" another girl asked. "Harry is so damn fine!" Hermione laughed. "If you go for the geeky look!" she said airily. Harry stopped in his tracks. He couldn't believe he was the hot topic of conversation in the girls' showers but more importantly he couldn't believe what Hermione just said. Ron was looking at Harry with a new respect. "Hey hey!" he said elbowing Harry in the ribs. Harry didn't seem as humoured. "Ron we are getting out of here now!" he said hotly. He turned towards the door, grabbed Ron's hand and broke into a run.  
  
While he was busy trying to exit the bathroom as quickly as possible he didn't notice Ron's leg was sticking out from under the cloak. But Hermione did. She saw Ron's leg sticking out and watched the two of them leave, while the rest of their bodies were hidden under the cloak behind a third year girl. Hermione was furious! Her face twisted into a mask of anger. She swiftly turned of the shower taps and wrapped her towel around her. "What's the matter Hermione?" asked her friend. "Nothing" she muttered storming out of the bathroom. "I'll see you back in the dormitory". Hermione dried her hair and quickly changed into her nightdress. She pulled on her dressing gown and marched off out of the dormitory and down the hall. Meanwhile Ron and Harry sat on their beds. Ron was dumb with shock and Harry was sitting there thinking. All of a sudden Hermione and Professor McGonagall dressed in their nightclothes burst in. "Uh-Oh!" said Ron turning to Harry with a look of terror upon his face. Professor McGonagall walked straight up to them. "Boys, I think you ought to come with me." She said icily. "Hermione dear, you may go back to your dormitory." Hermione nodded and glared at Harry and Ron. Ron gulped and shot a fearful look at Harry.  
  
Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall stood side by side with looks of uttermost revulsion on their faces. The four of them were in the headmaster's office. Ron and Harry were sitting down looking quite remorseful. Dumbledore began to speak very slowly. "I hope you boys are happy. Tonight you have not only broken school rules and misused the invisibility cloak which would make your father very ashamed Harry" said Dumbledore peering over the lens of his glasses to meet Harry's eye. "But you have embarrassed and upset the female Gryffindor community." "Not to mention violating the girls' privacy" Snapped Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore nodded. "I'm afraid we have no choice but to punish you both" he said grimly. "And you two deserve to be punished!" Professor McGonagall added furiously. Ron was staring at the floor in dismay. He couldn't bear to see the looks of anger on his parents' faces. What would his mother say? What would his father do? He would probably be disowned and sent to live in the forbidden forest. "Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter, I am going to have to suspend you from Hogwarts for two weeks". Professor Dumbledore finished. "Start packing boys" said Professor McGonagall.  
  
Harry and Ron trudged back to their dormitories. Everyone in the common room seemed to be whispering and pointing at them. Girls were glaring at them and shaking their heads. Boys were grinning at them and laughing. Ginny Weasley who was Ron's little sister was sitting in front of the fireplace with a tear streaked face. It was obvious being Ron's sister she had copped a lot of teasing. Ron felt a pang of guilt. He hung his head and followed Harry up to their dormitory and tried to ignore the rest of the Gryffindors. Everyone in the dormitory was asleep. Harry and Ron changed into their pyjamas and slipped into bed. Neither of them said a word to each other. Harry curled up into a ball, dreading the coming of morning when he would be packing his bags and returning to the Dursely's which itself was a harsh punishment.  
  
Harry and Ron lugged their trunks down the sandstone staircase. "Harry and Ron are expelled! They are both banished to hell!" sang Peeves the poltergeist. Harry rolled his eyes. He had received numerous insults and taunts from Peeves during his years at Hogwarts. "You're so bloody funny" said Ron sarcastically to the ghost. Peeves paused for a moment, he almost seemed hurt and then continued with his song "Harry and Ron are expelled."  
  
After they had finished breakfast Ron and Harry walked up to Professor McGonagall who was waiting for them. "You will travel home by floo powder" she said coldly. "I have already notified your guardians and they will be expecting you". Harry suddenly felt weak at the knees. Due to his disastrous first experience using floo powder Harry had developed and extreme fear for the means of travel. "Floo powder?" he asked, his voice quavering. "Yes, Mr Potter." Professor McGonagall replied. "You can't possibly expect us to call in the Hogwarts Express just for this journey." she said unsympathetically. Harry looked at the floor. "Besides, we can't be bothered to arrange a portkey for you to use. The pair of you will go to Kings Cross station and your parents will be waiting for you there. Now follow me" she said, walking towards her office, while Harry and Ron struggled with their luggage.  
  
Ron and Harry shot out of the fireplace and landed hard on the floor of Kings Cross station. Their luggage did not seem to be anywhere. "Ron," asked Harry mystified "Where are our bags?" Ron was looking very glum and only managed to give a small shrug. They both began to hear a long whistling sound and looked upwards. Ron's and Harry's eyes widened and they both began to scream. Their trunks came crashing down from nowhere and landed with a thud on the floor, just missing Harry and Ron's heads. Ron and Harry's faces were very pale and neither of them dared to move. "Since when was there a fireplace on platform 9 ¾?" wondered Harry, in a dazed state. Just then Ron's parents Mr and Mrs Weasley approached them looking like they were about to explode in fury. Harry looked at the floor. He knew the Weasley's were very fond of him but was sure they wouldn't be thrilled to see him under the current circumstances. Harry wished he could just melt into a puddle on the station floor.  
  
Harry sat by the window of his bedroom in the Dursely's house, gazing at the night sky. He had been away from Hogwarts only a day and he missed it like mad. He missed his owl, Hedwig and his friends. He was even beginning to miss Professor Snape's potions class! But Harry knew things would be different when he went back to school. Life would never be the same. Hermione would probably never speak to him and Ron again and they would probably become outcasts. Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore would no longer be fond of him, the Gryffindor girls would have lost all respect for him and continue to give him those menacing looks which Harry feared. Even Colin Creevy would never look at him with the same admiration. Harry heaved a sigh, wishing things had been different. If only he had never gotten that invisibility cloak. If only he could get his hands on that time turner McGonagall had. If only they hadn't been caught! Harry got down from the windowsill and crept into bed. He took off his glasses and curled up into a ball. He had a sinking feeling the next two weeks would take forever to pass. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Professor McGonagall sat in front of the fire in the staffroom, staring into the fire and watching the glowing embers shrivel up and smoke. She was all alone as it was very late. All the other teachers had gone to bed. She sat there in silence. The only noise to be heard was a soft crackling coming from the dying fire. Suddenly the door creaked open and Professor Dumbledore stepped in. He adjusted his glasses and fixed his eyes on Professor McGonagall. She turned around slowly and their eyes met. "Whatever are you doing in here at this hour Minerva?" he asked her. Professor McGonagall looked annoyed, as Dumbledore had interrupted her thoughts. "Um, It seems I lost track of time" she said feebly. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and walked over to join her on the soft velvet lounge in front of the fireplace. "Well I'll have you know it is half past one in the morning" he said as he sat down. Professor McGonagall sighed but did not respond. Dumbledore shot her a look of concern. "Is there anything troubling you, Minerva?" he asked gently. Professor McGonagall shifted uncomfortably. "You are right Albus, it is late and I best be getting some sleep now" she said without meeting his eye. She politely wished the Headmaster goodnight and walked towards the door. Her fingers twisted the knob and pulled the door towards her but it would not open. "Minerva" said Dumbledore slightly amused "That is the door which leads to my office" Professor McGonagall froze and went red. "Of course" she said, blushing deeply. She turned around swiftly and walked out the other door, down the corridor.  
  
Neecholi Leech twisted her hands around her firebolt. She shut her eyes tightly and began muttering to herself. It was five minutes until the beginning of her first ever Quidditch game against Hufflepuff and she felt extremely nervous. She had landed the position of chaser on the Slytherin team and was determined to do the job well. "C'mon Leech, you'll do fine" said Ma-ark the Slytherin Quidditch captain, slapping her on the back. Neecholi gave him a weak smile but felt like she was going to throw up. (From nerves and also because Ma-ark had just touched her.) Her insides were churning and she felt like a thousand butterflies were flying around inside her stomach. Her heart was racing at a million miles per hour and her hands were all clammy and sweaty. Neecholi wiped her brow with her sleeve and took a deep breath. Her fellow team mates were walking around casually looking very relaxed. Draco Malfoy walked up to her with a box of Bertie Botts every flavour beans. He offered them to her. Neecholi looked relived. A sugar hit was just what she needed. She thanked Draco and took a handful. Neecholi looked at the beans in her hand. There was a pink one, a green one, a brown one and a white and black spotted one. Neecholi picked up the brown one. It was a caramel flavoured bean and Neecholi especially liked them. She always sifted through the other flavours to find them. Neecholi put the bean in her mouth and chewed it. Suddenly her lips puckered up and she felt like she was going to hurl. This jellybean was not caramel like she had thought; it was a vomit flavoured one.  
  
Dinner that night was a happy occasion at the Slytherin table while the Hufflepuffs were miserable with defeat. They had lost the Quidditch match to Slytherin and the worst part of it was they hadn't even scored once! Felix Buttersworth toyed with the food on his plate. "I can't believe Hufflepuff sucked so badly out there!" he said to the girl sitting next to him who was named Lorraine Vain. She was a flabby girl with an absolutely disastrous haircut. "No we didn't!" she said with false kindness. "It was the first game of the season there are plenty more Hufflepuff can win!" Felix didn't respond. Eventually he spoke. "I guess you are right. What's the use in being down about it, there's always next time" he mused. "Exactly!" she said cheerily. "So come on, eat up and be happy" Felix smiled and took a generous helping of potato bake. Lorraine screwed up her nose in disgust. "Felix!" she said horrified. "Do you know how much fat is in that?" Felix gave her an odd look and shovelled the potato bake into his mouth, totally disregarding her friendly advice.  
  
After dinner, Professor McGonagall retreated to the staff room where Professors Snape, Flitwick and Trelawney were sitting in front of the wobbycusto watching a documentary about dragons. Their hair looked singed and their faces were blackened with soot. She presumed they had just viewed a scene where the dragon breathed fire. She considered joining them but decided against doing so. Instead, she sat down at the table and began to plan out her next transfiguration lesson. An hour later, the other staff had left and Professor McGonagall decided it was time for her to go to bed.  
  
She packed away her notes and gathered up her belongings. She exited the room and went upstairs to her sleeping quarters. A few minutes after she left Dumbledore entered the staffroom, searching for his glasses. He found them on a table near the fireplace. He put his glasses on and smiled to himself, happy he could see clearly once again. Just as he was about to exit the room he noticed a small scroll of parchment on the floor beside the table. He unrolled it and saw a most striking ink drawing. The drawing was of a cat sitting alone underneath the night sky. Dumbledore squinted and inspected the drawing closely. Then he saw it. The cat appeared to be crying, tears were rolling down its face. Then it hit him. Dumbledore understood who was behind this fine piece of art. But he did not understand why the artist had drawn such a thing. He rolled up the parchment and took it with him, back to his office.  
  
Aleckseia Byrne sat with Jissikah and Licce in transfiguration. It was the last lesson of the day and all the students were incredibly tired and restless. Professor McGonagall was in a foul mood to top things off. Her patience was running short and she was not putting up with any rubbish from the students today, especially Licce the class prankster. Licce was born of muggle parents and was raised in the muggle world. She went to a muggle school before Hogwarts and learned every practical joke imaginable from her friends. Once she arrived at Hogwarts she could not adapt and learn to follow the rules, and was only encouraged when she saw all the different products available for practical jokers in the wizarding world. A born comedian she continued to cause mischief and mayhem and was famous for her clever pranks.  
  
However, this lesson Licce had nothing prepared. She desperately needed a senior to buy her more supplies from Hogsmeade. Licce heaved a sigh and looked down at her notes. The class was supposed to be working on their essay but she did not feel like it at the moment. What she felt like was playing a joke. Lise searched around for anything that would be useful in causing trouble. There was nothing to be found so she decided to go back to basics. She tore a piece of paper from her notebook and began to fold it into a paper plane. "What are you doing?" asked Jissikah who was born a pureblood and had never seen such a thing. Licce gave her a sly smile then aimed the plane straight at Professor McGonagall's head.  
  
It hit her directly on the nose. Half the class gasped while the other half smothered giggles. Professor McGonagall rose from her chair and picked up the plane. Then she did something unexpected. She threw the paper plane straight at Licce. Licce was stunned, but did not speak. "There" said Professor McGonagall quietly with a smirk. She paced back and forth then came to a halt. "You didn't like it either did you!" she roared. Licce looked very scared. She shook her head vigorously. "Well don't do it again" said Professor McGonagall quietly but in a harsh tone. Licce nodded but did not dare to speak. Professor McGonagall returned to her desk then smiled at the class. She clapped her hands together. "Now, get back to it!" she said. "It's not every day I give you time to do your homework in class!"  
  
Harry Potter was staring longingly out his bedroom window again. He missed Hogwarts dearly. He had been living off mouldy cheese and crackers at the Dursley house and was craving a Hogwarts dinner. Harry looked up. He squinted. Was he seeing things!? Harry thought he could see a black shadow moving across the night sky. It was moving towards him. The shadow came into focus. Harry could see a massive black owl soaring towards him with a letter tied to its foot. Mail! He thought with glee. Harry was overjoyed, although he had never seen an owl quite like this one.  
  
It landed on his windowsill and Harry gazed at it in awe. This owl was amazing. It had sleek jet black feathers and huge eyes, as red as rubies. The owl lifted its giant leg so Harry could untie the letter. Harry untied the letter and stroked the owl gently. Its feathers felt as smooth as silk. "So who sent this letter?" Harry asked the owl. It cocked its head, encouraging Harry to open the letter. He untied the red ribbon around it and tore it open. The owl watched the colour drain from Harry's face. Satisfied that Harry had received the letter he flew off into the night sky, leaving Harry in a state of bewilderment. He read over the letter to make sure he hadn't misread what it said. But the words stood out from the page as boldly as before, written in dried blood. "I'm going to kill you, Potter".  
  
Everyone was busy feasting in the Hogwarts dining hall. Aleckseia helped herself to another slice of potato pie. Neecholi was amusing everyone by balancing her spoon on the tip of her nose. Aleckseia laughed to herself and shook her head. Jissikah was glaring at Neecholi. "What is she doing now?" Jissikah said with distain and rolled her eyes. Aleckseia smiled at Jissikah and shrugged. "It's just a bit of fun Jissikah". She said casually.  
  
Up at the teacher's table Professor McGonagall was staring at her plate and slowly sipping from her glass goblet. Dumbledore, who had been noticing her strange behaviour, could feel her pain. He wanted to reach out and embrace her and tell her things would be alright. But he restrained himself from doing so. Dumbledore could see that Minerva was hurting. He did not know what the cause of her anguish was but desperately wanted to help her. Dumbledore turned to face her. "Minerva", he said with deep concern. She looked up to meet his eyes. "Would I be able to have a talk with you after dinner?" Minerva's face clouded over again. "Certainly, Professor Dumbledore". She said vacantly.  
  
Dumbledore shut the door to his office. Professor McGonagall stood in front of him looking rather tense. He motioned for her to sit down. She took one look at the bed in his office and felt like she was about to faint. Instead she chose to sit on the plush settee which was as far away from that bed as possible. Dumbledore sat next to her. He took her hand soothingly and began to speak, then decided against it. He reached into his pocket instead and produced a piece of parchment. He unrolled it and handed it to Minerva. She was taken aback, but spoke calmly. "Whatever is this?" she asked Dumbledore. "My dear Professor, I think you know." He said to her. Her face misted up. Tears began rolling freely down her cheeks. Dumbledore seemed shocked, as Professor McGonagall was one of the most composed people he knew. He never meant to upset her and had not expected her to act this way. "Minerva"? She straightened up at once. "Ah, I am terribly sorry Professor" she gushed, wiping away tears. "This is quite unlike me, and I do apologise for being so emotional". Dumbledore smiled sympathetically. "But I do not understand Minerva" he said. "I never knew you were such a good artist! And why would you draw such a thing? Why are you so unhappy?" Minerva stood up and walked over to the window. She smiled wistfully. She leant against the windowsill and shook her head. She then turned around to face Albus who was sitting on the settee in a state of confusion. "If only you knew" she said sadly. Albus looked like he was about to start crying too. It pained him to see Minerva so upset. He knew he could help her, if she only opened up to him, if she could just trust him. Never had he felt so helpless.  
  
Minerva pulled her legs up to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees. A lock of black hair fell into her eyes. She hated having messy hair but never went to bed with it tied up. She brushed away the hair quickly. Sighing heavily she uncurled her body and stretched out. She pulled her bedcovers over her body and rested her head on the pillow. Minerva knew she had no other choice. There was no other option. She had almost blown it tonight; she had almost told Albus she loved him. Now she had to leave. Before she did something she would regret. Minerva's feelings for Albus had grown stronger over the years. She valued her friendship with the headmaster more than anything in the world. After all, they had a special connection. But she knew he would never feel the same way about her and if anything ever broke their special bond Minerva undoubtedly knew she would not be able to go on. "Minerva you are so stupid! Stop acting like a hormonal teenager!" she scolded herself. But no matter what she told herself, her strong feelings towards Albus would not fade.  
  
Minerva placed a letter on Dumbledore's desk. She knew this was the easy option and she felt craven, but this was her final decision and she knew it was best for the both of them. The sun was rising and she knew it would only be a few hours before Albus found the letter. Minerva sighed and left the office. She transfigured herself into her animagus form, a silver tabby cat and stalked out of the office, embarking on her new life.  
  
Dumbledore yawned and put on his glasses. He got up out of bed and changed his attire with a flick of his wand. He walked to the door of his office and closed it as he left. A few minutes later he returned searching for his shoes. He found them beside his dark mahogany desk. Something on the desk caught his eye. It was a letter, neatly folded with "Albus" written in delicate handwriting. His stomach plummeted. He recognised this handwriting immediately. He seized the letter and tore it open. He read the letter and his worst fears were confirmed. Minerva had gone.  
  
Dumbledore's mouth was dry. His hands were shaking as he tapped his goblet with a spoon to get the students attention. He rose from his seat. "I have a very important announcement to make." He said, his voice quavering. "Professor McGonagall has resigned from her position as Deputy Headmistress and Transfiguration teacher." The hall fell silent. "I will be taking her classes until we can find a suitable replacement". He finished. "No further questions please". He sat down in his chair again. There. He had said it. Professor Trelawney came up to him and sat herself in Minerva's seat. Dumbledore could have slapped her. She was the teacher Minerva disliked the most and he had a suspicion she had something to do with Minerva's departure. But did she have to sit in her seat! Dumbledore composed himself. "Yes Sybill?" he asked. "Albus, I am very sorry to hear of Minerva's departure but I must tell you I knew it was coming." She boasted. "I could see it all along that Minerva did not have the strength, and I do hope you find a replacement with the true qualities of a transfiguration teacher". Dumbledore was outraged. He reached for his wand and gripped it tightly but then thought of Minerva. His anger melted into misery. He did not respond to Trelawney who made her way back to her seat. He had come extremely close to blasting her. He cleared his mind of all things but the lesson we was about to teach and headed off to prepare for class.  
  
Professor McGonagall's paws began to ache. "If only I had learned to apparate!" she thought heatedly. She had been walking since sunrise away from Hogwarts and away from Dumbledore. She had reached the muggle world and was ready to begin a new life. "Ah, maybe I'll find a nice tom cat to settle down with soon" She thought scornfully, although the thought made her laugh. Tired and hungry Minerva decided to rest for a while. She found a nice spot under a tall tree. She had never seen such a tree before but it provided shade and the ground below looked very soft. Just as Minerva was making herself comfortable a tree branch snapped and came crashing down to the ground. Minerva looked up but was not fast enough to run away. She felt helpless and all of a sudden her world went black. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Licce Melding was slumped in her chair. Dumbledore was taking the class for Transfiguration and was a little bit rusty on the subject. Beside her sat Jissikah and Aleckseia her Slytherin friends. Licce was feeling extremely guilty. She had offended a few teachers in her time but had never been the cause of one's resignation. "If only I had been a little more thoughtful yesterday" she thought to herself. "McGonagall was already upset and in a bad mood, why did I push it?" Licce sighed and turned to face her friends. They smiled sympathetically. "It's not your fault" said Aleckseia. "Yeah" added Jissikah. "The whole world doesn't revolve around you Licce" she sneered. Licce looked confused. "McGonagall was probably upset about something else and quit" she added. Licce felt embarrassed by Jissikah's comment but did not feel any less guilty. "And if you were the reason she left, Licce Melding" said Jissikah curtly "Shame on you!"  
  
Dinner at Hogwarts that night was simply not the same without the company of Professor McGonagall. Especially because nobody knew where she had gone, or why she had left in such a hurry. Dumbledore was trying his hardest to remain unruffled and keep everything hushed although he was becoming an emotional wreck. He blamed himself for coming on to her, all those many times and finally last night. He never meant to make her feel awkward; he was merely trying to comfort her. After all, they had been friends for years. He had known her since she was a child. He enjoyed her company immensely and had great respect for her. Dumbledore shook the thoughts from his head. He cast his mind back to the present and started to talk with Professor Snape while sipping from his goblet.  
  
Minerva woke up. She suddenly felt a surge of anxiety. She had no idea where she was, why she was in cat form and why he body ached so much. She looked at her surroundings. She was in a large room which appeared to be the sleeping quarters of a young girl. It was decorated with pink and purple furniture and the walls were painted white. She was lying on a large violet cushion near the bed. Then it all came flooding back. The throbbing pain from the night before. How she felt so close to Albus, but knew it was so wrong. Then how she fled from Hogwarts as a cat, into the muggle world, where she was now. Minerva's cat ears pricked up. She could hear footsteps coming towards her. The door of the room creaked open.  
  
A pretty young girl walked in. She had neat red hair, bright blue eyes and pale freckly skin. She was dressed in a frilly pink dress with a huge bow at the back. Her bright red hair was tied back with a white satin ribbon. Her eyes brightened when she saw Minerva the cat. "Kitty!" she shrieked piercingly. Minerva cringed. Her hearing was seven times more accurate when she was in cat form. "I found you under the tree! Whatever were you doing there silly cat?" The girl asked, stroking Minerva's soft fur with her sticky hands. Minerva was horrified. "I was knocked out and now this brat thinks I am a genuine feline!" "We are going to have so much fun!" said the girl in her high-pitched voice. Minerva shuddered. She had a feeling it was going to be a long night.  
  
Harry Potter lay on his bed stretched out. He could hear the soft patter of rain falling outside on Privet Drive. There were 10 more days left until he could go back to Hogwarts, and probably face his doom. He gave a small chuckle and rolled onto his stomach. "Whoever this prankster is that's trying to kill me, well they're not very impressive" he thought. "If I am able to kick Voldemort's ass every year I think I can handle some school joker with a black owl." Harry shook his head and sniggered. "Come on, writing in dried blood. Now that's original" Suddenly there was a clap of thunder followed by a strike of lightning. Harry sat up. Then there was a burst of blinding light which came from the floor of Harry's room. He sat there numbly not daring to move. As quickly as it had come, the light vanished and left nothing but a folded piece of paper lying on his bedroom floor. Harry's stomach lurched. He knew what this meant. The school joker was smarter than he suspected. "Well I may as well see what they are threatening me with this time." thought Harry, reaching out for the paper. He seized it and opened it in a cavalier manner.  
  
As Harry unfolded it liquid squirted onto his face. Harry was stunned but unhurt, as he was wearing his glasses and no liquid got into his eyes. "That was rather peculiar". He thought to himself. He stared at the paper. Was that all? A squirt in the face! Harry seemed quite relieved. "So maybe my stalker isn't so dangerous after all" he thought, relaxing. He was just about to fold the paper back again when a burst of fire leapt out from the paper and set his face alight. Harry tried to scream but flames were engulfing his face. He could not breathe, but could feel the full impact of the fire eating away at his flesh. Harry could smell the foul stench of his own skin burning away, and felt the pain spreading down his shoulders and neck. He realised the fire was spreading and swallowing his body. He started kicking and yelling, and howling in pain.  
  
Vernon Dursley his uncle could hear this noise from downstairs. He quickly rushed up to Harry's room to find out what was the cause of the commotion. "What is the meaning of this racket boy?" he growled opening Harry's door. As soon as his eyes saw Harry he let out an almighty cry. "Good God!" he exclaimed, paralysed with shock. Uncle Vernon stood there unable to move or get help. He watched his nephew sitting there on the bed ablaze. He heard Harry's desperate cries for help but was frozen stiff. Soon enough Harry's Aunt Petunia came to the room, wondering what the fuss was all about. As soon as she saw Harry she let out a shriek and ran to the bathroom. She quickly retuned with a vase full of water. She tipped the contents on her nephew and watched the fire being extinguished, Harry's hair still smouldering. The icy water had sent a painful sensation onto Harry's scalded skin. Bits of burnt flesh had fallen to the ground leaving the room with a sickly stench of death.  
  
Dumbledore sat at his office desk staring at the wall. He did not move nor did he speak. His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a rubbing against his leg. Dumbledore looked down to see a silver cat at his feet. He swung his chair around to face it and it jumped upon his lap. The cat began to purr and stroke its head against his chest. "Minerva?" he said not daring to believe it. The cat meowed and jumped down onto the floor. It beckoned Dumbledore to follow it. He followed the cat out of the castle and onto the grounds of Hogwarts. Then the cat began to pick up the pace. "I do hope this is important!" he puffed, while struggling to keep up with it. The cat broke into a run and was heading to the edge of the school grounds. Dumbledore wondered where Minerva was leading him. The night sky was an inky black and the stars all seemed a blur as Dumbledore ran past. Then the cat leapt off the side of the cliff and into the lake which surrounded the school. Dumbledore tried to stop himself but was not quick enough. He lost his footing and tumbled off the face of the cliff into the murky waters below. He opened his mouth to scream but no sound came out. Then he landed with a crash. Dumbledore opened his eyes. He looked at his surroundings. There was no cat to be seen or any water. He realised he had just woken up from a most vivid dream and had fallen out of his bed. Dumbledore sat up, dazed. He climbed back into bed and tucked himself securely under the sheets. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to block out the thought that Minerva could have actually fallen somewhere and was now dead.  
  
Minerva McGonagall had never been so embarrassed in her life. Dressed in booties with a bonnet on her head she sat with her new "friend" Zahra, who had forced her into playing tea parties. Minerva would have run away at once but was tempted to stay when Zahra brought her a saucer of milk to drink. So for the past few hours she had been dressed up in the most ridiculous attire imaginable, chosen for her by Zahra who was clearly enjoying the tea party. Zahra was prattling on about nothing and Minerva was falling asleep. The tea party ended, much to the relief of Minerva when Zahra's mother came in and told her to go to sleep. She tucked her little angel in bed and kissed her goodnight. Minerva had settled onto a furry rug on the floor where she curled up and fell asleep.  
  
Aleckseia woke from her sleep. She rubbed her eyes and rolled over, in an attempt to get comfortable again. Out of the corner of her eye she couldn't help noticing a green glow coming from Neecholi's bed. Aleckseia craned her neck to see what the light was. The light was in fact mist, coming from a small cauldron placed on Neecholi's bed. Aleckseia strained to see where Neecholi was. Then she saw her, levitating above the cauldron. She seemed to be in a trance and was chanting something in an unfamiliar language. Aleckseia seemed fascinated by Neecholi's strange behaviour, but she was careful not to disturb her. Abruptly, Neecholi's ritual came to an end. The green mist vanished and Neecholi stepped back onto her bed. She quickly slipped the cauldron under her bed and looked around to see if anyone was watching. Aleckseia squeezed her eyes shut. Neecholi saw that nobody was watching and tucked herself into bed. Aleckseia kept her eyes shut and tried to go to sleep. It seemed that Neecholi was a lot more complex than she had first thought. But there was something about this that bothered her.  
  
Harry Potter lay stiffly in his muggle hospital bed, in the burns ward. His scalded and blistered face was wrapped up underneath bandages. A nurse was busy attaching tubes to his body and hooking him up to a machine whilst a doctor in a white coat was busy scribbling onto a sheet looking rather concerned. Vernon Dursley had dialled up an ambulance for Harry and had come to the hospital with him. He had even seemed slightly concerned for Harry's welfare this time which was quite a surprise. Harry felt very uncomfortable but in no time drifted off into a deep sleep.  
  
Minerva was crouched in the corner of the Zahra's room. She was figuring out the best way to escape. She had to escape! Minerva shuddered at the thought of last night. Never in her life had she been more humiliated. Nevertheless, Minerva had stayed the night at the girl's house, for she needed to get some rest or she would be too weak to transfigure herself back into a person. Minerva heard a strident voice holler "Zahra! Breakfast is ready." Minerva's stomach rumbled. Zahra stirred. Minerva jumped on her bed in an effort to wake her. "Kitty!" said Zahra cheerfully. "Hurry up and wake up you silly girl!" thought Minerva impatiently. Zahra yawned and slowly pulled herself out of bed. She walked over to her huge closet and pulled out a pink fluffy dressing gown. She wrapped it around her shoulders and called out to Minerva. "Come on kitty, let's go and get breakfast".  
  
Minerva leapt towards to door and followed Zahra down the stairs. Minerva resisted the urge to claw the plush pink carpet. She followed Zahra into the kitchen. The smell of blueberry pancakes was wafting through the house. Minerva's stomach rumbled. Zahra seated herself at the breakfast table and helped herself to some pancakes and fresh orange juice. Minerva meowed loudly. Zahra looked down at her and rolled her eyes. Minerva glared at her. A few minutes later Zahra's mother tottered into the kitchen. She stared at Minerva with disgust. "Darling, what is this cat doing in our kitchen?" she asked. "Honestly do you really want fleas and fur all over our house?" Minerva was fuming. "Mother, just give her some milk will you" Zahra said rudely. "If you insist sweetie" she replied, heading to the fridge. She poured Minerva a saucer of milk and placed it on the ground near Zahra's feet. Minerva lapped it up immediately. The cool milk moistened her parched throat. Minerva looked up from the milk and arched her back. It was painful hunching over to drink all the time. She was about to return to lapping up the milk when it splashed up right into her face. Minerva jumped back in fright. She realised Zahra had dropped some grapefruit bits into her milk. Minerva scowled. "You could have dropped me some pancake!" she thought bitterly. Zahra laughed, pleased at her efforts. It seemed she had dropped the grapefruit on purpose to annoy the cat.  
  
Minerva was quite fed up and paced over to the window. It was half open so she leap out and scurried across to the fence. "Hey!" cried Zahra, clearly outraged that Minerva had escaped from her. She rose from her chair and scurried off after the cat, knocking over her chair and glass of milk in the process. The glass came crashing down onto the tiled floor and glass shattered everywhere. The breakfast chair she had been sitting in toppled over and fell hard onto the floor. Minerva's eyes widened as she saw Zahra leaping towards her. She sprinted across the yard as fast as her cat legs could carry her and bounded over the fence, landing hard on the next door neighbour's trash cans.  
  
Minerva winced as a sharp pain spread through her front leg. She looked down to find her delicate paw pad had been sliced by a shred of glass and was bleeding furiously. She tried her hardest not to weep as the pain was so unbearable. Minerva tried to walk but was crippled with pain. The blood gushing from her paw had formed a small puddle at her feet. Realising she was stranded because of her injury she began to meow loudly. Minerva knew it was hopeless and if anyone was to come to her aid it would be another muggle. She also knew it would be impossible to transfigure back into her human state. Minerva meowed weakly and hung her head.  
  
Just when she thought she would be stuck on top of a trash can with a bleeding paw forever she heard footsteps approaching her. Minerva looked up and sure enough it was a muggle coming towards her. The muggle was a tall girl of about fifteen with beach blonde hair and green eyes. She had a look of great concern upon her face as she stepped towards Minerva. Without saying a word she laid a hand on Minerva's head and stoked her gently. Then the muggle saw the pool of blood around the cat's paw. She gasped and gently examined Minerva's paw. "You poor cat!" she said with concern. "I told Brad not to leave empty beer bottles lying around! I'm so sorry you had to be hurt, cat". The girl gently wrapped her hands around Minerva's body and lifted her up onto her shoulder. "I'll fix your paw" she said soothingly. Minerva settled onto her shoulder, relived someone had found her. She also had a feeling this muggle would be much kinder than Zahra. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
Aleckseia sat at the breakfast table with her Slytherin friends Jissikah and Neecholi. She still remembered the image of Neecholi levitating last night, but did not ask anything. None of the girls were very talkative and they all looked very tired. Jissikah seemed to be more interested in toying with her long brown hair than finishing her toast. Aleckseia felt the silence getting to her and decided to strike up a conversation. "So there is nine more days until the now infamous Harry returns to school". She commented. Neecholi snorted. "Who's counting?" she asked rudely. Aleckseia looked taken aback. She was about to reply but Jissikah cut in. "Oh, Licce is. She still can't believe he wasn't expelled." She said matter-of-factly while fiddling with her hair. "Well I would have had him expelled immediately!" said Neecholi.  
  
Aleckseia nodded. "But McGonagall and Dumbledore are the bosses" she added. Jissikah shifted uncomfortably and stopped playing with her hair. "You mean McGonagall and Dumbledore were the bosses" she said quietly. Aleckseia's face fell. "But she might come back..." she trailed off. Neecholi gave Aleckseia and doubtful look. "I do not expect her to return if she resigned with such haste and no explanation". "Besides, Dumbledore has appointed a new Transfiguration teacher". Jissikah and Aleckseia stared at Neecholi in disbelief. "Really?" they said in unison. Neecholi nodded. "It's going around in the Slytherin common room, a fifth year told me" Jissikah looked very surprised. "Wow, Dumbledore sure doesn't muck around!" she exclaimed.  
  
Sure enough that morning in transfiguration class Jissikah, Aleckseia and Licce were introduced by Dumbledore to their new teacher Professor Spleen. She was a young looking witch with long dark hair and ivory skin. She wore a long black velvet skirt with a deep purple corset. Aleckseia thought she was very pretty indeed. "Well she's certainly no McGonagall! Jissikah scoffed. "Can you imagine if dear old Minerva turned up to class wearing that?" Licce and Aleckseia were unamused and raised their eyebrows. Jissikah continued to chuckle, although her friends did not find her last remark funny in any way. Professor Spleen finished marking the roll and cleared her throat. The class settled down and gave her their full attention. "Thank you." She said. "Now as you know I am Professor Spleen and I am going to teach you many wonderful and useful skills." Licce rolled her eyes "boring!" she muttered. Professor Spleen fixed her piercing blue eyes on Licce. "Boring?" she asked. Licce who was usually polite to teachers was suddenly overcome with a sense of rage. She was angry Professor McGonagall had gone, she was angry that the sleazy boy who lived; Harry Potter was returning to Hogwarts in only nine days and she was angry this new teacher had just turned up wearing a rather daring outfit. If there was one thing Licce could not stand it was a witch wearing trashy clothing. "Yeah, Boring!" Lise replied smartly. Professor Spleen raised and eyebrow. "Well, Miss Melding. I think you will find an after school detention with me even more boring!" Licce mentally kicked herself. "Be here at five sharp" she said coldly. Licce nodded reluctantly.  
  
Harry Potter woke to find himself in the hospital ward of Hogwarts. He blinked. Could this be a dream? Besides, Harry had been suspended from Hogwarts, so why was he there? Harry looked up and at once was shocked to see Professor Dumbledore standing before his bed. Harry had a million questions running through his mind. Dumbledore seemed to sense this and put a hand up to silence him. "You are no longer suspended from Hogwarts Harry." he said. The time has passed and you have been asleep for the majority of it. I know all about the letter Harry and I promise I will get to the bottom of it. But in the meantime I warn you to watch out and be careful. You never can trust everyone."  
  
Dumbledore's words sent a shiver up his spine. Had someone really been trying to kill him that night? Had someone wanted Harry to burn to death? The thought sickened Harry. "However, I rescued you from that muggle hospital and over the past nine days Madame Pomfrey has been working extremely hard to mend your skin. Harry held a hand up to his face and touched his skin. It felt smooth and slightly greasy. "Never fear Harry" said Dumbledore with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Although your skin was terribly burned Madame Pomfrey has managed to return your face to normal, and you look perfectly fine." Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "There is not even a scar upon your face left to remind you of this horrible ordeal" beamed Dumbledore. "Although, the lightning bolt remains. Not even fire could remove it." Harry was happy his scar was still there. It was a part of him after all. Harry didn't want to imagine what he would look like if Madame Pomfrey had not been able to repair his skin, although he knew he would have looked very much like his old teacher Mad Eye Mooney. People's heads would turn, but not because he was the famous boy who lived! Harry could imagine the constant insults from his archenemy Draco Malfoy and his partners in crime Crabbe and Goyle. "Well I'm glad I'm still a sexy beast" thought Harry to himself. "The ladies will still love me. Hehe."  
  
As the weeks flew by Harry and Ron slowly settled back into the Hogwarts community. They were both safe and well and Harry had run into no more trouble since returning to Hogwarts. He reassured himself it had only been a joker that had set fire to him and he was positive nothing would hurt him now he was back at Hogwarts. It had now been two months since Professor McGonagall had resigned and Professor Spleen had quickly become the most hated teacher at Hogwarts. She had the temper of Professor McGonagall on a bad day, although Spleen was no wear near as fair and reasonable as she had been. Professor Spleen was as cold as Professor Snape and was about as friendly as the goblins at Gringotts. Nevertheless, she knew transfiguration well and her classes were making steady progress in the subject.  
  
Professor McGonagall had become very loyal to the muggle which had rescued her and was living quite comfortably with Nicole her knew owner. She never thought much about Hogwarts anymore and when she did remember it, she quickly set her mind on something else before the painful memories came flooding back. Minerva was quite happy to be living a lie. She had convinced herself she was a cat and thought nothing of magic and her former life as a Hogwarts teacher. She had pushed all thoughts of Dumbledore to the back of her mind and had managed quite well to suppress all of her foolish desires. Little did she know how badly missed she was back at Hogwarts. Dumbledore felt like a part of him was missing without her. He thought about her every day, wishing she would come back. Dumbledore could have easily gone looking for her but he knew in his heart she did not want to be found and there was no use invading her privacy. Harry, Ron and Hermione who had become friends again dearly missed their old transfiguration teacher, as strict and severe as she was. They had taken a great disking to Professor Spleen, who in Harry's opinion was the perfect match for Severus Snape. Even Licce Melding and her Slytherin pals Aleckseia and Jissikah missed Professor McGonagall. It seemed Licce couldn't avoid a transfiguration detention no matter how well behaved she was. Although she had stocked up on supplies from Zonko's joke shop, they were now going to waste as she did not dare to try and pull a trick on Spleen  
  
Licce Melding yawned and seated herself on a lounge in the Gryffindor common room. She was soon joined by Fred and George Weasley who were in their final year at Hogwarts. Licce and the twins had quickly bonded through their love of practical jokes. They supplied her with all she ever needed from Zonko's in Hogsmeade. But this time it looked as though they wanted to talk about something serious. Fred looked at George and George spoke. "Listen" he said in a hushed tone, leaning over to Licce. "I think the whole of Hogwarts has had enough of that Spleen woman" Licce's hazel eyes lit up. "Since it's our last year at Hogwarts we want to remember it for a reason, and I think its payback time for Spleen". A wicked grin spread onto the faces of George and Fred. Licce looked at each of them with a devilish glint in her eye. She leaned over and whispered "I'm in."  
  
Fred Weasley turned they key in the lock on the door of Professor Snape's office. It was night time and the perfect opportunity for Fred to pinch some supplies needed for their master plan from Snape's storeroom. Most of the school was in bed and Filch the caretaker was prowling the third floor which was far enough away from the dungeons. Fred knew exactly what he needed and planned to grab the ingredients and flee. He had also managed to make a replica of the key which unlocked Snape's office. This way there would be no sign of forced entry and hopefully Snape would be none the wiser. Fred crept over to the storeroom and unlatched the door. He held his lantern up to the shelves so he could read the labels on all the bottles and jars. "Aha! Here's fig rose" thought Fred with delight. He took a triangular shaped bottle of the rose-tinted liquid and placed it inside his jacket.  
  
Fred then quickly pulled the other bottles to the front so the shelf looked untouched. He shone his lantern around again and took some more bottles and viles full of potion ingredients. Fred was reaching for a jar on the highest shelf when all of a sudden he heard Snape's office door creak open followed by the sound of footsteps and giggling. Fred froze. He backed up to the wall and stood motionless, not daring to breathe.  
  
Fred listened carefully and could make out the voice of Snape. He inched closer to the storeroom door to eavesdrop. "Oh Verity you are a naughty, naughty girl!" he heard Snape say in a husky voice. The sound of girly giggles followed. Curiosity got the better of Fred and he craned his neck out to see what was going on. Fred was mortified. There in Snape's office he was met with a most scandalous sight. Snape was wrapped around Professor Spleen who had a playful grin on her face. He was fumbling with the string on her corset trying to untie it. Fred clapped a hand over his mouth. His knees went weak. He had to get out of there before.Fred didn't even want to think about it! This was something he most certainly did not want to witness.  
  
Fred winced in disgust as the sounds from Snape's office became louder. He had never heard teachers talk like this to each other and he didn't wish to either. Fred searched desperately for a way out while trying to block out the sounds coming from the office. He could not apparate in the school grounds and he did not know how to anyway. He didn't have his wand here either. Fred began to panic. He realised it would be most embarrassing for all involved if Snape was to catch him here at this very moment.  
  
Fred laid his loot on the ground and was thinking of a way to escape when he heard Professor Spleen talking in a serious voice. He stuck his neck out again to watch them. "But Severus," said Professor Spleen placing her hands on Snape's chest and looking into his eyes "We must be careful. It would be ghastly if I." she trailed off. "You do have one don't you?" she asked awkwardly. Fred heard footsteps approaching the storeroom. "I will get the vile at once" Snape said hurriedly. "This potion works immediately so we can start to." Snape stopped speaking abruptly. He was met face to face with a squirming Fred Weasley. The look of horror on Snape's face was priceless. "Severus?" said Professor Spleen quietly. She walked up behind him and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Fred. "I, uh um sir uh, you see, err" Fred stammered weakly. Fred 's face was burning bright red along with Professor Spleen who was busy trying to lace up her corset and wipe away her extremely smudged red lipstick. Even Snape's cheeks were glowing pink as he attempted to button up his vest and straighten his greasy hair. "Iwasntspyingonyou" blurted Fred. "I was, I was stealing potion ingredients" he squeaked. "Then you two arrived".  
  
Snape who had managed to straighten himself up and regain his voice glared darts at Fred. "You little thief " he said acidly. Professor Spleen's eyes flashed from embarrassed to infuriated. "Do you mean to say you watched everything!?" she shrieked Fred shook his head and pointed a shaking finger at the door. "I, I was h-h-h iding behind the d-d-d-door" he stuttered. Snape stared at him sourly with narrow eyes. "This calls for a memory charm, don't you agree Verity?" he said, glancing at Professor Spleen. She nodded solemnly. Snape reached into his pants pocket for his wand. He froze when he realised he was not wearing any pants. Snape's face turned scarlet once again and he forced a laugh. "Ah," he said with a tight smile although he looked like he was about to explode. "No wand, no wand". He laughed and shook his head. "NO WAND!" he bellowed. Fred wished he could melt into the floor. Just then, the door of Snape's office burst open again and in came Dumbledore. Snape looked irate. "Great! Just great!" he said between gritted teeth. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
Dumbledore looked at the desk and realised Snape was not there. He left a letter on the desk and turned around to leave. Just as he was about to leave he caught sight of Fred, Snape and Spleen. Dumbledore's jaw dropped. Standing before him was Professor Snape with ruffled hair, dressed in his black vest and shirt with no pants on. Beside him was Professor Spleen, scantily clad in her corset and lace underwear with her black pantyhose ripped and torn. And trembling in the corner beside the two Professors was Fred Weasley, clutching a pillowcase full of stolen potions. Dumbledore recovered from the shock and cleared his throat. Finally he spoke. "I think you all better come with me." He said weakly.  
  
Licce and George sat anxiously in the Gryffindor Common room. Neither of them dared to speak. Fred had been gone for three hours. Though Licce and George were not speaking they both knew something was wrong. It would never take three hours to steal a few things from the dungeons. Deep down Licce and George knew that Fred must have been caught. But they could not do anything but wait restlessly for him to return. Licce sighed and caught George's eye. He gave her a hopeless look. Licce plucked up the courage to speak. "He's been caught hasn't he." She said. George nodded grimly. "What do we do now?" she asked George. He turned to face her. George threw up his hands and shook his head "I wouldn't have a clue."  
  
Ron stirred his porridge gloomily. "Come on Ron! You've been stirring that for the last twenty minutes!" said Harry through a mouthful of scrambled egg. Ron scowled at him as bits of egg from Harry's mouth landed in his porridge. Ron smiled tightly and pushed the bowl away from him. Hermione frowned at Harry. "Have some compassion!" she said rather rudely. Hermione looked Ron in the eye. "Look," she said firmly. "Fred will be alright. He's only been gone for one night! Trust me he will turn up!" Harry rolled his eyes at Hermione. Ron smiled weakly. "S'pose your right" he mumbled. Hermione smiled with satisfaction. "Now just relax and I'm sure he will turn up today". "He has probably gone to the hospital wing or something" Harry added. Ron looked even more worried. "With a headache of course" added Harry quickly. "Err, nothing serious". Hermione frowned at Harry and signalled him to be quiet. Harry stopped speaking. Ron gave him a half- hearted smile. "Fingers crossed."  
  
Harry Potter sighed with relief. He had made it to the bathroom just in time. A minute longer and he would have burst! (Or probably just humiliated himself by wetting his pants in front of his entire Charms class.) Harry was thankful that Professor Flitwick had allowed him to go to the toilet in the middle of the lesson. Harry had never needed to go in the middle of class before, but that the last thing on his mind as he was rushing to the boys' bathroom. Harry zipped up his pants and reached over to pull the chain and flush the toilet. He found that he couldn't reach it. Harry thought about walking away and leaving the toilet unflushed but decided against it, although he had done it before. A smile played on Harry's lips as he remembered how the boy who used the bathroom after him had gotten a nasty shock.  
  
He climbed up onto the toilet seat and held one hand against the wall of the cubicle to steady himself. Then Harry reached out carefully and pulled the chain. It would not budge. One hand alone was too weak to pull the stiff chain. Harry reached out with his other arm and tugged the chain with both hands. He pulled so hard but finally the toilet flushed. Harry stepped off the seat but lost his footing and fell into the toilet bowl. "Ugh!" he thought as the water sprayed him in the face. As the flushing died down Harry prepared to step out of the bowl when all of a sudden he was sucked down with the sewerage. Harry tried to scream but the toilet water splashed into his mouth. He felt like a superhuman force was pulling him.pulling him down. He was sucked through the tiny opening of the toilet and found himself slipping down the sewerage pipe.  
  
The slime and grime that surrounded him helped him slide further and further down. Harry finally reached the bottom and fell head first into an enormous gluggy, stinking cesspool. Harry was covered from head to toe in filthy waste. He tried to stand up but the river of sludge he was floating in was too deep. Harry struggled to reach the edge but the gunk was too thick. The putrid smell was overpowering. Harry could feel the squashy warm sewerage leaking into his shoes. It was getting underneath his shirt too and touching his bare skin. Harry shuddered in disgust. He had to get out of there! He wondered how he winded up there in the first place. Harry did not know toilets had the ability to suck people into them! As though someone was reading his mind, the answer appeared immediately on the wall of the pipe. The words splattered in sloppy brown goo on the wall read "Potter I said I was going to kill you." A chill ran down Harry's spine. He knew this was the work of the same person who had set him alight.  
  
Just when Harry thought things could not get any worse he felt his hair being drenched. He looked up to see an ocean of yellow water gushing from a connecting pipe. Harry winced as the water splashed onto is face and soaked his hair. Soon he realised from the revolting smell coming from his hair the liquid was not water at all. Harry was covered from head to toe and reeked of sewerage. Then he had an idea. Harry hoisted himself up by his hands and crawled into the drainpipe above him which the yellow water had gushed out from. He figured he could creep back to a bathroom this way. Slowly he inched forwards, and soon enough could see a faint light up ahead. Harry's heart soared and he scurried towards the opening.  
  
All of a sudden he was knocked back as another fresh wave of piss hit him in the face. Harry slid backwards as the rapid force pushed him out of the pipe. Once again, he landed headfirst in the cesspool. Harry groaned silently and re-emerged to the surface. He decided to search for another connecting pipe. He paddled through the thick sludge until he saw a large pipe protruding from the wall. It was quite far up. Then Harry noticed a chain hanging from it. "Here goes nothing" thought Harry and gripped the chain tightly. He heaved his body upwards and climbed up the chain. It was rusty and dug into his skin. He could feel his skin tearing as he heaved further and further up towards the opening of the pipe. When he finally reached it he swung from the chain to the pipe and landed squarely in the middle of it.  
  
A small wave of water passed by and Harry clung to the walls to stop himself falling again. He was pushed forward and gripped the rim of the pipe. Holding on, he was six feet from the edge and thinking, maybe six feet aint so far down. "Hold me now!" he cried. "I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking, that maybe six feet aint so far down!" his words echoed through the pipes and bounced off the walls. Then Harry realised if he did fall those six feet down he would land in the sewerage again. He scrambled towards the exit and found himself coming out at the other end through a drain on the floor of the boys' bathrooms. He lifted the grate and climbed out, dripping wet and stinking, yet relived to be free from the Hogwarts sewer. Harry stood up and replaced the grate. He was about to go off and clean himself up when the door to the bathrooms swung open and in walked Draco Malfoy; Harry's archenemy. Draco caught sight of Harry and stared at him in disbelief. Then his eyes lit up and he ran from the bathrooms to round up and audience.  
  
Dumbledore sat at his desk, with his head in his hands again. He heaved a sigh and turned to Fawkes his phoenix. "Whatever should I do?" he asked the bird wearily. Fawkes cocked his head. Dumbledore was undecided on what to do with Snape, Spleen and Fred. He had taken them back to his office last night and questioned them where they had reluctantly told Dumbledore the truth and begged Dumbledore to forgive them. He had let them go for the night but did not know what punishment to give them. After all, Snape and Spleen as two teachers had shown most inappropriate behaviour and Fred Weasley had been stealing from the potions storeroom.  
  
He wished Professor McGonagall was there to help him. They were a team, and a damn good one at that. Dumbledore cast his mind back to that night when he and Minerva had told Harry and Ron their punishment. They had been very harsh with the boys at the time but were in hysterics afterwards. Somehow Minerva had found the fact the boys were spying on the girls with an invisibility cloak hilarious. Dumbledore smiled as he remembered how she had burst into fits of laughter after the boys had left and would not calm down. They had laughed the night away until it became very late and she left in a hurry.  
  
Dumbledore sighed again and wondered what it would be like if his headmistress was still here. No doubt she would be highly amused by the antics of Spleen and Snape, and then Dumbledore remembered Spleen would not even be here if it wasn't for Minerva's resignation. He cleared his throat and noticed one of the house elves from the kitchen standing timidly in front of his desk, holding a mug of coffee. She had bright green eyes and long ginger eyelashes. "Professor Dumbledore sir, we thinks you must be needing a hot drink to help you think clearly" she said meekly, holding out the mug to Dumbledore. He smiled kindly. "Why thank you Maemae" he said as he accepted the drink. He sipped it and was very pleased. Maemae looked disappointed. "This is very nice" he reassured her, but Maemae was not convinced. "Professor Dumbledore sir is not satisfied" she said dejectedly. "Professor Dumbledore wants something else". Dumbledore slowly placed the mug on his desk and looked at her curiously. "We house-elves can sense when master is not content." The elf continued. "But Professor Dumbledore sir, I am merely a house-elf. I regret that I cannot provide you sir with what you truly want". Dumbledore stared at the elf with bewilderment. "And what is it that I truly want?" he challenged her. "I think we both know who she is" said the elf. Maemae gave him one last sorrowful gaze then clicked her finger and vanished, leaving Dumbledore feeling very perplexed.  
  
"Dobby! Dobby! You must help!" cried Maemae in despair. She had already returned to the kitchens and was now surrounded by her fellow house-elves once again. "Master Dumbledore sir needs our help!" Dobby turned around and removed his apron to reveal and elf sized pinstriped suit. "I told you its Dobe~" said the elf coldly. "Now, how can one help Dumbledore sir?" Maemae frowned at Dobby, but continued to be very polite to him. "Dumbledore needs his headmistress." She began. "We must get her back. Dobby, uh I meant Dobe~ if only you saw the despair in sir's eyes." Dobby yawned. "Will I be getting paid?" he asked causally. Maemae flared up. "How could you! After all master has done for you! He has given you the finest clothing and agreed to pay you!" she roared. Dobby looked ashamed and hung his head. "I will help you" he mumbled. Three other house elves that were covered in cake batter approached Maemae. "We wish to help too" they said timidly. Maemae's green eyes lit up with glee. "The plan begins tomorrow" she said coyly, and winked.  
  
Professor Dumbledore sat in front of the wobbycusto in the staff room, mindlessly switching channels. It was past midnight but he did not feel like sleeping. He flicked past the weather channel. A gust of wind and rain flew out of the wobbycusto and hit him in the face. "Well it must be raining outside!" he thought irately, wiping the raindrops off his face. Dumbledore flicked past the cooking channel where two plump wizards were fussing over a gobbler pie. Dumbledore reached into the wobbycusto and pulled out a gobbler pie for himself. He tasted it but was not impressed. Dumbledore switched off the wobbycusto and sighed. He left the pie sitting on the table and trudged off to his bed.  
  
Maemae, followed by her team of house elves Dobby, Shellie, Faere and Merri were hiding in the bushes outside the Prestonn Family's house. Maemae could just see the family car driving away with everyone inside. Maemae nodded to the others with a serious look upon her face and they all clicked their fingers simultaneously. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
Minerva the cat yawned and rolled over on the great big waterbed in Nicole's bedroom. She was safe and warm in there as it was pouring with rain outside. Suddenly five house-elves appeared right before her eyes at the foot of the bed. Minerva froze. Maemae spoke very slowly. "We come in peace" she said, with a hint of anxiety in her voice. Minerva had blocked out the magical world from her mind for a few months now and seeing these house-elves was a great shock to her. She recoiled and hid herself under some fluffy pillows on the bed. "Master needs you m'ame!" piped up Faere, a petite house-elf with thick black hair and tiny ears. Merri nodded slowly. "We all need you" she said quietly and snapped her fingers. A magical screen appeared in mid air. The house elves watched as Minerva crept from the safety of the pillows and focused her eyes on the screen. She saw Dumbledore announcing to the school that she had left. Minerva felt awful. Then she saw her first year transfiguration class in tears as Professor Spleen was being horrible to them and teaching them nonsense. Minerva suddenly felt an urge to jump out and take over the class. Then she remembered it was just a mirage before her. The next scene she saw was Dumbledore sitting at his desk talking to Fawkes. "Whatever should I do?" he asked the bird. "I cannot decide when Minerva is not here". Minerva was intrigued. What had happened at Hogwarts while she had been away? She wondered. Finally the last scene Minerva saw was her replacement Verity Spleen wearing heavy makeup and a plunging neckline sitting at her desk in her office writing with her quill. Minerva was furious! "Who does she think she is!" she cried. Then Maemae gently reminded her Professor Spleen was the only replacement teacher Dumbledore could find on such short notice, seeing Minerva had run away.  
  
The house-elves begged her to come back to Hogwarts. Minerva was worried that Dumbledore would be angry and the students would not be happy. She knew if she made the choice and decided to return to Hogwarts it would either turn out very good or very badly. Minerva hesitated. The house elves continued to plead with her and beg her to come with them. Minerva was still undecided. But before she knew what she was doing she had returned to Hogwarts within the blink of an eye with the elves and was now sitting in cat form in the kitchens. Two elves rushed up to her and held out huge platters full of food. Minerva thanked them and tucked in. When she had finished Maemae tapped her on the shoulder and nodded. "M'ame, Tis time that you transfigure yourself into a person once again". She said gently.  
  
Minerva stood up and prepared to transfigure. She knew she would not be looking her best after living as a cat for a few months but did not mind. As soon as she had transfigured Minerva looked down and was shocked to see how tall she was. After all, she had been only a few inches from the ground when she was in cat form. She saw her robes were all ragged and scruffy and her hair was a mess. Nevertheless she was somewhat glad to be back in her old body again. "Well, I better clean myself up!" She said hastily, heading for the door. Just then it swung open and Minerva was faced with none the other than Professor Dumbledore. He looked shocked to see her. Minerva smiled weakly. "Um, surprise!" she said timidly. Professor Dumbledore was lost for words. He stared at her dirt streaked face and torn robes. Minerva blushed. "Uh, the house elves brought me back" she said pointing in their direction, as if she was trying to lay the blame on them. Dumbledore's expression remained blank. The silence was awkward. "Um, I better clean myself up then" said Minerva softly. She headed past Dumbledore and out into the corridor, fighting back tears.  
  
Minerva and Dumbledore sat in silence face to face. She could feel his penetrating gaze upon her as they sat in the darkness of Dumbledore's office. The he spoke. "So you think everything can return to normal now?" Minerva raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" she asked, slightly confused. "What do I mean?" he cried, banging a fist on the desk. "Minerva, you vanished in the middle of the night! I didn't know what I had done wrong!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "Running away? What were you thinking! Here I was left to pick up the pieces and keep everything hushed up!" Minerva had never seen Dumbledore so worked up, yet she let him continue ranting. "And here I went and hired this.this lunatic as your replacement and she goes off and falls in love with Snape! Now here I am left to decide their punishment all by myself and I need you here to help me-but if it weren't for you running off in the first place Snape would have never met Spleen!" he spluttered.  
  
Minerva narrowed her eyes. It was her turn for an outburst. "I thought you wanted me back!" she cried. "The house elves came and begged me to return. Otherwise I would have never thought twice about you Albus Dumbledore!" Dumbledore looked like he had just been slapped in the face. "So if this is the kind of welcome I get, well SCREW YOU DUMBLEDORE! I'm leaving!" Minerva stood up and stormed towards the door, shaking with fury. Dumbledore watched her go but made no effort to stop her. She slammed the door shut, so hard that a few paintings fell off the wall. Dumbledore sighed and looked into the hourglass sitting on his desk. He knew it was not her fault. He should not have started a fight. As Dumbledore watched the grains of sand slip through the hourglass he realised he had just let Minerva slip through his hands. Again.  
  
Minerva was shaken. She allowed the tears to pour freely from her eyes. "Hell I've been crying a lot this year!" she thought to herself, slightly angry she had let herself become such a sook. She had nowhere to run this time. Through watery eyes it seemed the lamps lighting the hallway were laughing at her. She stared at the portraits on the walls. They were smirking at her from the safety of the canvas. Even the stairs seemed to be poking fun at her. As soon as Minerva began ascending the flight of steps to her old office they began to move. Minerva waited patiently for them to return to their old position but they did not budge. She sighed with fatigue and walked up onto the landing, where she sat down and rested her head in her hands. All of a sudden she felt the stairs slipping from underneath her. Minerva looked down to see the stairs moving back to their original position. She quickly stepped back onto safe ground but found herself being dragged along with the stairs. The hem of her robes had become caught in the banister of the moving staircase.  
  
She tried to hang on to the railing of the moving stair but it was out of her reach. She was now hanging between the moving staircase and the landing, clutching the top of the staircase. She could hear her robe ripping and detaching themselves from the banister they had been caught on. Minerva was losing her grip on the slippery cold stone and before she knew what was happening she felt herself falling. It was as if she was a rock, plummeting to the ground, yet in slow motion. The world around her was a blur and she opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out. The portraits that surrounded her looked on in bewilderment. But they could not help her. Nobody could help her. She continued to fall. Minerva hit the cold stone floor with a sickening crunch. There she lay on the hard ground motionless. There she lay; dead.  
  
Breakfast the following morning was a happy occasion for Fred who had been reunited with his friends and brothers. He told them his story and everyone was amazed Dumbledore had not punished him. Ron was thrilled that he had his brother back while George and Licce were relived he had not been reprimanded. They decided to scrap their plan and decided Dumbledore would deal with Professor Spleen anyway. The students were so cheerful that morning and wrapped up in their own affairs they failed to notice something was horribly wrong at the teachers table.  
  
Argus Filch the caretaker was speaking to Professor Dumbledore. He seemed quite tense and his grimy face and hair was more dirty than usual. He did not tell Dumbledore what had happened at the table but he asked him to follow, as there was something he needed to see. Snape was looking at Filch inquisitively. He had heard the last part of their conversation and sensed there was something wrong. Filch noticed that Snape was eavesdropping. "You may as well come too" he growled. "Maybe there's a potion you have to fix this mess". Snape's face remained calm. Dumbledore was very curious and followed him immediately, and Snape followed him. Filch lead the Professors to a most deserted part of the castle which lay at the bottom of the great staircases. It was dusty and dark and filled with cobwebs. The only light to be seen was coming from a torch on the ground next to Mrs Norris; Filch's cat. She gave a great meow when she saw the men walking towards her.  
  
Filch bent down to stroke her and picked up the torch. "I warn you men. This may come as a shock to you". Filch said gravely. He shone the flaming torch over the body of Professor McGonagall who lay motionless with her pale white face turned to the side. Her cold blue eyes were wide open and a look of terror was frozen on her stiff face. Dumbledore was aghast. Even Snape's cold face showed a look of surprise. None of them spoke. "I found her this morning." Filch said solemnly. "Mrs Norris knew something was up and she lead me here." Mrs Norris meowed again, and walked over to Professor McGonagall's body. She rubbed her face against the Professor's hand. Wild thoughts began running through Dumbledore's mind. "Had she killed herself? Right after we had that terrible argument! Had she slipped and fallen? Had somebody.pushed her?" His hands were trembling. Snape was extremely perplexed. "But why is Minerva here?" he asked. "I thought she had left Hogwarts, unless she has been here all along?" Filch nodded. "It is a mystery" he agreed.  
  
Dumbledore raised his hands. "No, no" he said, shaking his head. "Minerva returned to Hogwarts last night" he said. Filch and Snape's eyes shot him looks of confusion. "She came to my office" Dumbledore continued. "She said that the house elves had found her and brought her back." Dumbledore struggled to continue. "Then we had an argument" he said, clearly distressed. "She stormed out and that was the last I saw of her." Dumbledore said dimly. Snape and Filch's eyes fell to the floor. "I suppose we can rule out the possibility of foul play then." Said Filch. Snape stepped towards Minerva and bent down to touch her neck. His expression remained grim. He stood up and faced Dumbledore and filch. "She isn't dead" he said. "What?" cried Dumbledore. "Don't play games with me boy!" he roared at Snape, while grabbing his collar. "Hey, hey calm down!" ordered Filch. Dumbledore released Snape from his grip. Snape did not take offence. He wore a bemused expression on his face. "I never thought we'd see the day" he said distantly. "Are you out of your mind!" barked Dumbledore. "Hey! Come on now." Said Filch. "Let's go to your office Severus and discuss this like civilised wizards!" Snape nodded. "And Minerva? Will we just leave her here!?" cried Dumbledore outraged. Snape glared at him and walked over to Professor McGonagall. He gently picked her up and carried her limp body in his arms. "We shall take her to the infirmary first" he said coolly.  
  
Harry Potter lay in bed at the hospital wing. He had been there for days under the watchful eye of Madame Pomfrey. Naturally, Draco had seized the chance to embarrass Harry and had brought a crowd along to the toilets to see him. Nobody had believed his story about being sucked down the toilet and he had been dubbed "Harry Potty". Even his two closest friends Ron and Hermione had found it funny. He had been sent straight to the nurse and had been given all sorts of things to cleanse and sanitise his skin and hair. Madame Pomfrey had no sympathy for him and looked at him with repugnance every time she came by. He was forced to stay there to make sure he did not spread any germs and was still waiting to be discharged. Harry had never been so embarrassed. He couldn't understand why people thought he swam in the sewer for fun. And to have his two best friends laugh at him-it was more than he could take. Harry rolled over and shut his eyes tightly, wishing it would all go away. Then he heard voices whispering and the clicking of feet against the stone floor. He opened his eyes and could just make out three blurry figures which looked like Snape, Filch and Dumbledore entering the hospital wing. Snape appeared to be carrying a floppy green cloak. Harry didn't think much of it and closed his eyes again, hoping to fall asleep. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Snape gently placed Minerva's lifeless body down on a bed in the far end of the room. Madame Pomfrey was preparing a potion which would hopefully revive her. She too had been very shocked to see the Professor in such a fragile state. "It has happened again." Snape said. Dumbledore turned to face him while Filch raised his eyebrows. "Minerva is not dead. Her life has been spared." finished Snape. "But it must be a miracle!" cried Filch. "It's not every day you fall down a seven storey flight of stairs and live!" Snape nodded. "Indeed, Indeed. In fact, the last time this type of miracle occurred, Harry Potter lived." He said bluntly. Dumbledore narrowed his eyes. "Are you implying her fall was the work of Dark Magic?" he asked Snape. Snape shook his head. "I can assure you Dumbledore it was not the work of Dark Magic. However, there was something that protected Minerva." Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "And just like the Potter boy, it was love." Snape finished.  
  
Neecholi and Aleckseia sat in the green house, sweating away in the heat. This herbology lesson seemed to be dragging on forever as they sat together with the sun shining down through the glass roof. Neecholi usually loved herbology but this lesson they were dealing with phyllshoots which were a most boring and useless plant. Each student had their own phyllshoot to look after and had to sit there all lesson and observe their growth. Neecholi's phyllshoot had grown about half a centimetre in thirty minutes. Aleckseia's phyllshoot had shot up a full three centimetres in its first ten minutes of existence but had ceased to grow any more after that. Aleckseia sighed and rested her head on her hands. This had to be the most boring lesson ever.  
  
She looked around the greenhouse at all the pretty and exotic plant life that lived there. One in particular caught her eye. It seemed to be a flower but was very large and had green velvety leaves covered in a thick fungus. Each large petal was a different colour and had an intricate lace pattern on it. This plant was captivating. Aleckseia elbowed Neecholi. "Hey check out that that plant!" she whispered, pointing in its direction. Neecholi looked up. She did not seem very interested. "Ah, I see you have spotted the lofitus laceycharm!" said Professor Sprout, toddling over to the girls. "Oh, but you don't' want to go messing with this one! A frightfully aggressive plant she is!" Professor Sprout chuckled. Neecholi suddenly became very fascinated. "What does it do?" she asked inquisitively. Professor Sprout shook her head. "My girl, while she looks harmless and very pretty- this very plant has the power to KILL."  
  
Aleckseia looked shocked. But Neecholi's expression remained thoughtful. "So why isn't the plant illegal?" she asked slowly. "Because," replied Professor Sprout "while this plant is able to kill it is also able to heal. Of course nothing can bring one back from the world of the dead, but I would say the laceycharm is the next best thing you can get!" Neecholi nodded. "Like phoenix tears?" asked Aleckseia. "Yes, but much more powerful" replied Professor Sprout. Neecholi nodded to herself again. A plan seemed to be flourishing in her mind.  
  
Harry ran his fingers through his wet matted black hair. He had just had a shower after being released from the hospital wing. Well actually, Madame Pomfrey had practically booted his ass out of there. Harry certainly did not regret being discharged at all, though it would have been nice to spend a few more days relaxing in bed. Then again the demeaning glare of Madame Pomfrey was not something Harry wanted to see in the near future. Harry changed into his fluffy warm pyjamas and walked back to his dormitory. He suddenly remembered he had left his glasses down in the common room. Harry cursed to himself and made the journey down the cold stone steps to retrieve them. It was dark and his vision was blurred because he wasn't wearing his glasses.  
  
He stumbled down the stairs and walked over to the table where he had left them earlier. Harry found his glasses and slid them onto his nose. "Much better!" he thought to himself. He could now see clearly. Harry noticed a shadowy figure hiding in the corner of the common room. Curious, he tiptoed up behind the person who was seated in a wing chair over the far side of the room. Harry could see they had frizzy brown hair and if his eyes were not deceiving him, a blue mist was coming from where they were sitting. Harry approached the mysterious figure. He turned to face them and was shocked at what he saw. There in the chair sat a young first year girl, curled up reading a novel. She looked up at him and smiled. "Uh, sorry" stammered Harry. "I thought I saw.never mind". The girl continued to smile sweetly. "It's getting late I think my eyes are playing tricks on me again!" he laughed. She uttered a small giggle. "It is late" she agreed. "I was so wrapped up in this novel I lost track of time!" Harry smiled. "Well I better go now, goodnight" he said. She nodded. "Sweet dreams". Harry yawned and set off to his dormitory. "Strange" he thought he had never seen that young Gryffindor girl in the common room before.  
  
Dumbledore sat on the edge of Minerva's bed. He had been there for hours, sitting there, waiting for her to awaken. But much to his disappointment nothing had happened. Minerva had started to breathe normally after Madame Pomfrey had given her a potion but she said it would be a long time before she was fully awake. There was so much Dumbledore wanted to tell her. He had missed her like mad and was relived she was with him again, although the circumstances were quite unfortunate. Minerva lay there on the bed. She looked so peaceful, she looked so vulnerable. Dumbledore reached out and held her hand. Her hand was cold and her fingers were bony. He looked at her innocent face, longing for her to wake up so he could see those beautiful blue eyes of hers again. But her pale face, which was lined with age, remained lifeless. Dumbledore could remember the time when her face was youthful and radiant. She had always looked very pretty although she tried her best to conceal it.  
  
All these years later Dumbledore was still infatuated by her beauty and sweet nature which she still kept under wraps. Yet she still did not know about his secret feelings for her. Dumbledore could hear Madame Pomfrey approaching him and he knew it was time to leave. He took one last look at Minerva and stood up. "I love you" he whispered softly and slowly let go of her hand. He walked away from her bed and met Madame Pomfrey who was pushing a trolley of medicine. He wished her goodnight and left the infirmary. Minerva slowly opened her eyes and watched him walk out. Then she smiled and felt a sense of warmth rush through her body. There was no mistaking the words she had just heard Dumbledore say.  
  
Neecholi met her Slytherin friends at the breakfast table in the morning and greeted each of them with a broad grin. She bounced over to her seat and sat down then poured herself come cereal. "Well aren't we in a happy mood this morning" said Jissikah sourly. Neecholi took no notice of her grumpy friends and poured some milk into her bowl. "Yes, I am very happy!" she replied. "Why is that?" asked Aleckseia. Neecholi gave them a mysterious smile. "Oh no reason." She said. Aleckseia shrugged and Jissikah scowled. "I just have a feeling this is going to be a very pleasant day" Neecholi said. "Very pleasant indeed".  
  
Minerva saw the sun shine through the infirmary window. She was still glowing with happiness from Dumbledore's visit last night. She had woken up when he touched her hand but had been too weary to move. Madame Pomfrey was overjoyed Minerva was making progress and regaining her health. She guaranteed Minerva that her recovery period would be speedy if things went to plan, and she took her medication. Minerva was secretly hoping Dumbledore would come to see her soon.  
  
Although she looked a mess with her hair untied and her skin a sickly white, she knew he would not mind what she looked like. Her wish finally came true later that night when Dumbledore came to visit her. Minerva was sitting in bed, still too weak to stand up. Her auburn hair was falling gracefully over her shoulders and her skin did not look so severe in the softly lit room. Minerva's heart soared when she caught sight of Dumbledore. Yet she maintained a calm exterior. Dumbledore approached her beside and sat down. Minerva wanted to just fling her arms around his neck. She thought about it for a moment and then did so. Dumbledore seemed quite surprised but none the less happy." I have so much I have to tell you" he said. Minerva smiled sadly. "And I have so much to apologise for" Dumbledore beamed at her and squeezed her hand. "I am just grateful you are back" he said. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
  
Harry stared at his watch. The second hand was moving at a snail's pace and it seemed like he was frozen in time. It was almost lunchtime and Harry was stuck in potions class with a very moody Professor Snape. When the lesson finally ended and Snape gave the class a stack of homework Harry rushed to go to lunch. He decided to drop off his heavy books on the way. Harry rushed to the Gryffindor common room and entered through the portrait hole. He placed his books on a table then turned around to leave when he heard the sound of crying. Harry turned around and saw a small girl sitting in the corner. It was the same girl who he had seen that night reading a book. She had her face buried in her hands and was sobbing quietly. Harry rushed over to see what the problem was. "Are you ok?" he asked with concern. The girl stopped crying and looked up at Harry. Then her hand shot out and gripped his face. Her fingers dug into Harry's eyes and squeezed his mouth. He could not scream. The girl rose from her seat as Harry fell to the ground, her hand still stuck to his face. She was standing over him, Harry's twisted body between her feet. "It was me all along!" she laughed madly.  
  
She softened her grip on Harry's face and he fell like a limp sack to the ground. The girl stood over him while Harry moaned in pain. "You didn't even think I was serious did you?" she cackled. "The death note, ooh it caused you agony! How much I enjoyed watching your face burn" Harry watched in horror as the girl's face twisted into a wicked grin. How did she see him burn? The girl looked possessed. Her eyes had turned ruby red, just the same colour as. the black owl which had delivered Harry's death note. "It was you!" he cried. "The owl!" The girl laughed snidely. "Yes, it was me! So tell me Harry, now who was it that enchanted that toilet which you fell down?" Harry knew the answer. "Why!" he spluttered. "Why would you do a thing like that? What made you do these things to me?" The girl put on a look of false sympathy. She knelt down on all fours over Harry's body and looked him squarely in the eyes. The she whispered coldly in his ear "I wanted to kill you Harry". The muscles in his body tensed. The girl rubbed her face against his ear which sent chills down his spine. The she placed her lips on Harry's ear and said "Now I'm going to."  
  
Ron and Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table eating their lunch. Ron was slurping his soup loudly while Hermione was buttering a bread roll. "Oh honestly" she said disdainfully "Ron, can you please stop drinking that soup so loudly!" Ron blushed and put his spoon down. "Now where is Harry?" she asked. "Surely he would have joined us by now?" Ron shrugged and went back to drinking his soup.  
  
Harry struggled to move. The girl had magically bound him to a chair with chains which were digging into his neck and ribs and cutting off his air supply. Right now she was pacing about in front of him muttering to herself and shaking her head. Harry was struggling to break free but his efforts were in vain. Then the girl darted around and faced Harry. An evil grin spread across her face. She snapped her fingers and a pot plant appeared in her hands. Harry's heart stopped cold. He recognised the plant from herbology. It was the lofitus laceycharm. The only deadly plant around that was legal. The girl smiled. "Now I'm going to feed you the petals" she said in a singsong voice "and Harry, I think you know what's coming" she said with a wink. Harry's stomach dropped. The girl slowly peeled off a petal from the plant and waved it in front of Harry's face. He shut his eyes tightly and squirmed. The girl placed the plant on the ground beside him and leaned over to Harry. "Open wide!" she said. Harry gritted his teeth. He refused to give in to the girl. But with a snap of her fingers his jaws were magically pried open and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Harry's tongue sizzled as the poison leaked from the lacy leaves into his mouth. He could feel his gums slowly decaying as the powerful poison coated them. As it tricked down his throat he could no longer feel the sting. Harry had simply gone numb from the extreme pain.  
  
The girl smiled smugly at Harry and watched his slow agonizing death happen before her eyes. She soon got bored with watching Harry and decided to take a walk around the room. Harry could see in the corner of his eye the Laceycharm plant on the ground. He stretched with all his might and his fingers finally brushed against the leaf. He clasped his fingers around it and managed to tear off the tiniest piece. With a trembling hand, Harry reached for his mouth and fed himself the leaf. The relief was immediate. Harry could feel his mouth returning to normal. The powerful antidote had quickly restored his skin. Then he knew what he had to do. Harry ripped off a petal from the plant and held it in his clenched fist. Then he pretended to struggle and howl in pain. This caught his attacker's attention and she rushed over to Harry with an amused smile on her face. "Take your last breath Harry, the end is coming soon" she said. "No, take your last breath" thought Harry. Then his hand shot up like lightning and he forced the lethal petal into her mouth. The charm which bound him to the seat was immediately broken and he ran free. The girl didn't even put up a fight. She simply fell to the ground in a heap. He knew the girl was finished. She would be dead in a matter of seconds. Harry couldn't believe it. The reality suddenly hit him and he realised he had just killed someone! But he knew it was either his life or hers.  
  
Suddenly the moment was broken when a huffy first year girl burst into the common room. She looked distressed and has come up to the common room to be alone where she could cry in private. Harry recognised the girl. She was Licce Melding one of the girls who had been in the bathroom that night. Licce was about to throw herself onto the lounge by the fireplace when she caught sight of Harry standing over Neecholi's body. Licce hurried over to him and her fears were confirmed. "What have you done?" she demanded. Harry suddenly realised what he had gotten himself into. He also had a feeling this would not be an easy situation to escape. "Hello!? I'm talking to you!" yelled Licce. "What did you do to my friend?" Harry took a step back from Neecholi's body. He held his hands up. "It wasn't. I didn't" he stammered. Harry shook his head. "Look Licce, she was trying to kill me! I had no choice!" Harry was choking on his words. Licce narrowed her eyes. "Trying to kill you? Harry what is going." Licce's words were cut off by the sound of glass shattering. Harry and Licce both turned around to see the window which had been splintered. Fragments of glass had flown in every direction. Licce ducked to avoid a section of glass which was flying towards her forehead. "Duck!" cried Harry as he grabbed Licce's wrist and pulled her down with him.  
  
They lay flat on the ground with their cloaks pulled over their heads, sheltering them from the flying glass above. When the loud clinking of glass had settled Harry peeked over the edge of his cloak. It looked all clear. He helped Licce to her feet and they both straightened themselves up, quivering in disbelief. Harry's eyes shot over to the spot where Neecholi lay. He blinked. Harry couldn't believe it. She was gone! Licce noticed this to. Harry was speechless. He shot Licce a baffled expression. "Impossible" she whispered. "It's impossible!" Harry wandered over to the broken window. He was careful not to touch any broken glass. He noticed the window looked singed, and the remaining pieces of glass were blackened. Harry decided someone must have thrown a fireball at the window. "Harry" said Licce softly "Look". Harry made is way over to where she was standing. She held out her hand to him. In her palm lay three glossy black feathers. Owl feathers.  
  
Harry and Licce sat face to face on the floor of the common room. Harry had performed a quick clanius restoroita spell which had repaired the window instantly. Neither of them spoke. Licce finally broke the silence. "Shall we tell someone?" she asked softly. Harry sighed with exasperation. He shook his head and punched the floor. "I don't know." He said. "I honestly don't know." Licce's gaze drifted to the floor. "I think we should tell Dumbledore". Harry blew at his fringe. "Maybe we should." He mused. Licce reached for Harry's hand. "Let's go" she said. Harry reluctantly got up and followed her to the headmaster's office.  
  
Minerva laughed and shook her head. "That Poor Potter kid, he's been through hell hasn't he?" Dumbledore nodded. "Although I can't believe I didn't catch onto that Neecholi girl's plans! How could I have been so foolish?" he moaned. Minerva shrugged. "Well it was pretty stupid of you." Dumbledore's cheeks turned red. Minerva slapped his hand. "I'm joking!" she laughed. Dumbledore gave her a small smile. "Look, the problems have been sorted and the girl has been expelled." She said calmly. "HA!" spat Dumbledore. "Sure she could have killed Harry but no big deal!" "That's not what I meant and you know it." Minerva said bluntly. Dumbledore threw his hands up and sighed. "Albus" she said sharply "Let it pass, Harry is fine so will you stop worrying! You can't control everyone's actions you know!" Dumbledore looked at her uncertainly. "And you will learn from this mistake Albus." she said reassuringly. "Although it is a great shame the girl wasted her magic talent on evil, when she could have done so well at Hogwarts. That girl had a bright future ahead of her. What a waste." Dumbledore nodded.  
  
She quickly changed the subject. "So how long is it until I can teach again?" she asked. "Poppy says it will be a matter of days" replied Dumbledore. "What a relief!" said Minerva. "I'm sure the students are relived too" added Dumbledore. "Have you decided what to do about Snape and Spleen then?" asked Minerva. "Of course I haven't! Not without my headmistress" said Dumbledore with a sly smile. Minerva laughed. "I say you kick the both of them out of Hogwarts!" Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "Well that is a bit drastic but I'm sure I will figure out a more suitable punishment. I shall call them into my office tonight for a little chat." "Very wise." Minerva replied with a grin. "So my dear Professor I must be leaving now" said Dumbledore. Minerva wished him goodnight and watched Dumbledore leave. Before he exited the infirmary she saw Madame Pomfrey stop him. She looked like she was telling him something very important. Then Minerva saw her pulling Dumbledore into the nurse office by the hand. Curiosity got the better of Minerva and she hauled herself out of bed and followed them. Minerva crept up to the nurse's office and peeped around the corner.  
  
There she saw Madame Pomfrey standing very closely to Dumbledore and speaking to him with a flirty grin on her face. "Very suspicious indeed" she thought to herself. Then she saw Madame Pomfrey leaning over to kiss Dumbledore. He was pulling away from her. Minerva's suspicions were confirmed and she did not need to see anymore. She stepped into the room and made her presence clear. Madame Pomfrey saw her and pulled back from Dumbledore. "Why hello Minerva" she purred. Minerva returned the smug smile. "Hi Poppy. Hello Albus." Dumbledore looked very confused. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
  
There was a short period of silence until Minerva broke it by stepping towards Madame Pomfrey and grabbing Dumbledore's hand. "Back off bitch, he's mine!" She spat. The nurse laughed airily. "Oh yer? Make me". Minerva's had shot out and shoved her. Madame Pomfrey stumbled back but regained her balance. Then she slapped Minerva in the face. Minerva drew back. Her lip was bleeding. "Ok, you asked for it" she said between clenched teeth. Then Minerva lost it. "You are a little bitch!" she cried shrilly. "Did you know that? Trying to crack on to my man! Who do you think you are?" she reached out for Madame Pomfrey's hat and yanked it off her head. Then she tugged at her hair, pulling out great big tufts. Madame Pomfrey shrieked in pain. "MY HAIR! MY HAIR! Get OFF me you old insolent cow! Nobody said he was yours! You know I wish you had died when you fell down the stairs! No one asked you to keep living!" she screeched. Minerva was furious! "Look, you. middle aged no hoper! You're a sad-case, failure good for nothing, total buffoon! So what if I'm old? I would ask YOU how old you are, but I don't believe you can count that high. I ended up becoming a transfiguration professor, earning quite a lovely salary while you're stuck here in a dead end job, sticking band-aids on kids and wiping their noses! You don't even have a life! You don't even have a position on the teachers table in the hall! Come on! Even that great oaf Hagrid does! And he lives in a hut out the back of the castle! So why don't you try to sink your claws into him instead and leave my Albus alone!" Madame Pomfrey scoffed. "You know Minerva, You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk. In fact, if shit was music, you'd be an orchestra!" Minerva put her hands on her hips and eyed Madame Pomfrey "Poppy, you know you are such a smart-arse, I bet you could sit on a tub of ice cream and tell me what flavour it is." Madame Pomfrey laughed scornfully. "Please Minerva, keep talking." She said. "I always yawn when I am interested." Minerva smirked. "Poppy," she said "Your origins are so low, you'd have to limbo under your family tree. Plus, if I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents' libel! You have a face only a mother could love - and even she hates it!" Madame Pomfrey's expression turned heated, as Minerva continued. "Say Poppy, every girl has the right to be ugly, but I'm afraid you've abused the privilege. Madame Pomfrey was fuming. She responded by giving Minerva a hard kick in the ribs. Minerva was sent flying backwards and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor. "Ladies! Ladies!" Dumbledore cried. He helped McGonagall to her feet. Although she insisted she was quite unhurt, her ribs felt sore and badly bruised. Madame Pomfrey was trembling with rage in the corner, her fists were curled into tight balls, waiting to strike again. Dumbledore looked at them both. "Ladies please don't fight!" he urged them. There was a pause, as the two ladies glared at each other. Dumbledore continued "Cause I'm here all night!!!!!" Madame Pomfrey and McGonagall raised their eyebrows. "Ok, ok I'm just kidding!" he said. "I really should stop listening to D12. Now I think you two sassy lasses ought to kiss and make up!" McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey shook hands reluctantly. Madame Pomfrey scowled at McGonagall. "You better go back to your bed. After all I haven't discharged you yet" she snapped. "Get real." said McGonagall and stalked out of the infirmary, leaving a seething Madame Pomfrey and Stunned Dumbledore behind her.  
  
Fred Weasley said goodbye to his friends in the common room and made his way to meet Hagrid in his hut to help him clean it out. This was part of his month's worth of detention which was the punishment for stealing potions from Snape. Fred had to serve detention every night with a different teacher and help them with their duties. Fred wasn't looking forward to helping Hagrid clean his hut but he knew he had received a light punishment. Professor Spleen however had not been so lucky. She had lost her job and her professional reputation had been tarnished. Spleen had little hope of ever being employed as a teacher again. As for Snape, he had been given an official warning but he had connections with the Ministry of Magic and his job had been spared. Fred sighed heavily and knocked on Hagrid's door. He knew it was going to be a very long night.  
  
Professor McGonagall sat on the staff room lounge slowly sipping her tea. She did not feel well enough to attend breakfast in the great hall and her pride had prevented her from returning back to the hospital wing. Professor McGonagall had calmed down a great deal although her feelings towards Madame Pomfrey were hostile.  
  
The fact that her ribs had been hurt in the fight last night added to her condition. Her thoughts were interrupted when Dumbledore entered the room. "This is all I need" she thought to herself, as she put her mug of tea down on the table. "I thought you might be here" he said, walking over to her. McGonagall buried her face in her hands. "I feel like crap" she groaned. Dumbledore sat down beside her. "Albus, I am terribly sorry about last night's happenings. I wasn't thinking straight- it was the drugs she gave me I swear! They messed up my mind! I just don't know what came over me, I." McGonagall trailed off and slumped back on the lounge. Dumbledore was staring at her with that gleam in his eye. "It was very funny actually, Minerva. There is no need to apologise! Your performance was quite entertaining. But I am quite upset you only loved me when you were under the influence of drugs." McGonagall's face went scarlet. Dumbledore smiled. "Do you think perhaps I could make you change your mind?" he asked. McGonagall smiled playfully. "Hmm.Albus maybe you could." She replied. "Perhaps I should take you to back to the infirmary; you do look unwell" suggested Dumbledore. McGonagall smiled. "I assure you Albus, I am not ailing. It is unnecessary for you to take me back to the infirmary. But would you like to take me back to my sleeping quarters?" she asked. "I would be happy to do so." He answered with a satisfied smile.  
  
THE END (woooo-wooo!!!!) 


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